I found out this week that another door of opportunity has been closed. It feels like I’m going through a season of disappointment, and I just can’t shake it. If only I can figure out what it is the Lord is trying to teach me, then maybe I can get through it quicker.

A little more than a month after the disappointment of not getting into Ben Arment’s Dream Year, I’m dealing with another disappointment, this time regarding a potential chaplain position that would have been a merger of two loves.

I was contacted out of the blue by an organization called Baseball Chapel who was looking for a new chaplain for a local Major League Baseball team.

In a way, I’m relieved. The past month has been really busy at work and I’ve felt stretched thin as it is, but had I gotten that volunteer position my schedule would have been incredibly crazy. I’m grateful that NCC graciously allowed me to pursue this opportunity.

Maybe I am learning something. When I got the no for Dream Year, I was completely blindsided. I had talked with several people about my idea and about Ben and his program, and it never crossed my mind that I wasn’t going to get in. I’ve been joking with people that God spoiled me. He’s blessed me with favor and given me the desires of my heart so often over the past couple of years that I’ve started to take it for granted.

Though I’m disappointed that this opportunity fell through, I wasn’t blindsided and I have a peace about it. He’s brought me back down to earth. God is teaching me how to endure letdowns. He’s teaching me that it’s a journey, and the tougher the road is the better the story will be. He’s teaching me to embrace conflict instead of run from it. He’s teaching me to check my motivations.

This experience has allowed me to consider my calling and explore an avenue that got me more excited about ministry than I have been and should be. It was confirmation that there’s more to my calling than video work. I still love that and believe that’ll always be a part of what I do, but I don’t think my ministry ends there. I feel drawn towards one-on-one discipleship. It energizes me.

Whatever it is He’s got planned, I’m excited for it, and it’s better than anything I could have come up with.